Pie VS Pie

My friend recently asked me which I like better: cake or pie. Now that's a hands down easy answer. I say pie takes the cake. Cake is waaay overdone. There are too many people constantly having birthdays for it to be as special as pie.

Pie means Thanksgiving or Christmas. At my house, pies are pretty serious. My mom is a superfly pie baker, and I'd say I got the pie thing from her. They're fun to make, they make your kitchen smell all good, and they taste so ultimately good when you eat them that same day.

With that said, when people buy pie from Costco and bring it to my house for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want to kick their asses out with their shitty-ass pies.

There's no love in Costco.

They just blew an opportunity to make something really good for the ones they love. If you buy me a pie, I take it personally, and I have mediocre, obligatory feelings toward you too.

Consider yourself forewarned. Your relatives will secretly or subconsciously hate you if you bring apple pie from Marie Calendars that looks like it might as well have chicken and vegetables in it.

I say start practicing now. You have 13 weeks till T-day.

PS. The best Thanksgiving food I ever had was the leftovers from my roommate Keven's family. They're Persian.