Over easy

This subject keeps coming up. My eggs. My eggs are getting older by the word on this page. My eggs are the best they are ever going to be right at this moment, and every moment I wait from this moment only increases my chances of having fucked up eggs. Fuck.

This is a diminishing topic already, but the fact that it is not one of my desolate musings, but a near verbatum quote from a near stranger makes it all the more upsetting.

Other people can tell that my eggs are old. My eggs just turned 29. Who cares if people say I look 22. My eggs are really 29 and have greater chance than 22 for being fucked up.

Time is ticking. Egg timers are short timers too. Fuck.

Just so happens I have a picture of the guy who ridiculed my eggs. I choose to not remember his name, so he will go unnamed. I will just refer to him as The Jerk. And put his head on a pickle with Photoshop.